Stop Missing the Point: What Leaders Can Learn From the Stories We Don’t Tell
If you’re a leader at an IDD organization right now, you’re juggling impossible pressures.
Turnover climbs. Supervisors are exhausted. Systems get more complicated.
And while everyone is trying their best, it’s easier than ever for the work to become a checklist of tasks instead of a mission rooted in people.
When that happens, it’s not because leaders don’t care.
It’s because the system subtly trains everyone to focus on the wrong things.
Recently, I sat down with John Dickerson—longtime ARC leader and founder of MyQuillo—for Episode 68 of the IDD Leader Podcast (listen here).
What stuck with me wasn’t just his insight. It was the irony and the truth wrapped inside the stories he told.
They’re funny at first, then painful, then clarifying.
And every leader I know will see themselves somewhere in them.
Here are a few that matter most.
“Every minute of every day you’re building culture.”
John said this with conviction and clarity. And he’s right.
Culture isn’t shaped in:
staff meetings
strategic plans
annual retreats
It’s shaped in the tiny decisions made when no one’s watching:
how a supervisor responds to stress
whether someone gets greeted warmly or mechanically
the tone used in a quick check-in
whether a DSP feels like a bother or a partner
These micro-interactions are the real culture.
Everything else is commentary.
As leaders, we’re constantly sending signals—often accidentally.
And those signals shape how people treat each other.
The Choir Story: Joy Doesn’t Come From Programs—it Comes From People
One of John’s most beautiful stories started with a simple conversation.
A DSP mentioned that singing in her church choir brought her joy.
Another DSP heard it.
A woman they supported heard it.
And someone finally asked:
“Would you like to come with me?”
No formal program.
No treatment plan.
Just humans inviting other humans into their lives.
That invitation changed everything.
The woman didn’t just attend.
She joined.
She discovered she loved singing.
She became part of a community—standing in the same choir as the DSP who supported her.
The point isn’t “community integration.”
The point is joy, discovered in the simplest, most relational way possible.
What struck me is how easy it would’ve been to miss it.
If the DSP hadn’t shared what brought her joy…
If the woman hadn’t been invited…
If the agency had treated “joy” as a luxury, not a legitimate part of a meaningful life…
Leadership isn’t creating 50 new programs.
It’s creating environments where people can try new things, take small risks, and follow joy wherever it shows up.
Eddie’s Folder: When the System Loses the Plot
Then there’s Eddie.
Every year, his team met to talk about him.
Documents, plans, summaries, reports—folders full of information.
One day, Eddie asked the most reasonable question imaginable:
“Can I see what’s in my folder?”
There was hesitation.
Discomfort.
A subtle, unspoken: Are you sure you want to?
But eventually, they let him see it.
He opened the folder for the first time… and found page after page of his mistakes.
Even things from 40 years earlier. Forty years.
Imagine discovering that the official story of your life—the one professionals use to “help” you—was essentially a catalog of your shortcomings.
No wonder people feel reduced or misunderstood.
No wonder planning meetings often feel hollow.
No wonder trust is hard to build.
The folder wasn’t a record of Eddie’s life.
It was a record of a system that had been watching for problems instead of strengths.
Here’s the irony:
Everyone around him thought they were being responsible, thorough, even helpful.
But they had completely missed the point.
This story challenges every leader to ask:
What are we documenting? And why?
Do our processes pull people forward—or freeze them in their past?
Are we talking about people more than we talk to them?
Eddie’s story isn’t about an individual.
It’s a mirror.
So What Do Leaders Do With This?
John’s message isn’t “burn it all down.”
It’s much simpler—and far more doable.
Start asking better questions.
Questions like:
“What brings you joy?”
“What do you want to try this month?”
“Who in your life brings you energy?”
“What’s something you’d love to learn?”
These questions open doors that documentation never can.
Create space for people to try things.
Real life changes happen:
in 10-minute invitations
in everyday conversations
in the freedom to explore something new
Be the leader who sees what others overlook.
The leader who:
notices the small wins
protects joy
removes barriers
slows down long enough to hear someone’s real story
And here’s the connection that matters most:
When leaders show up this way—noticing strengths, championing joy, making space for people to explore their interests—it doesn’t just transform the lives of the people supported.
It reshapes the workplace itself.
A culture built on curiosity, dignity, and genuine human connection becomes a place where DSPs feel proud, valued, and energized. It becomes a workplace people want to stay in—a workplace where meaning is obvious and burnout has less oxygen to grow.
This is how supporting people well and strengthening the workforce become the same mission.
Leadership in IDD work isn’t about managing the system better.
It’s about refusing to let the system cause you to miss the point.
If You Want to Go Deeper…
You can listen to my full conversation with John Dickerson on Episode 68 of the IDD Leader Podcast. It’s filled with stories that will make you laugh, cringe, and rethink how culture is built.
And if you want a simple way to spot early warning signs in your own culture, get this free tool:
➡️ 7 Quiet Danger Signs Your Supervisors Are Burning Out Their Teams
