The 3-Sentence Script That Makes Tough Conversations Less Awkward (and Much More Effective)
Some days, being a leader feels like you’re starring in your own low-budget episode of “Survivor: Workplace Island.” You’re navigating staff shortages, last-minute callouts, paperwork avalanches—and then, boom:
Someone on your team starts spiraling into problem territory.
They’ve got potential. Maybe even heart.
But lately… the vibe is off. They’re missing deadlines. Gossiping. Acting defensive in meetings.
And every time you try to address it, the conversation either goes sideways or circles the drain.
If you've ever walked away from a corrective conversation thinking, “Wait… did I just get manipulated into apologizing to them?”—you’re not alone.
Why Most Tough Conversations Go Nowhere
Here’s the behavioral science of it:
Tough conversations feel aversive. They make us uncomfortable. So we avoid them, soften them, or delay them until we’re boiling over—and by then, it’s less of a leadership moment and more like a scene from Jerry Springer (well, hopefully not quite that bad).
But the real problem?
We often go in without a clear behavioral framework for what we’re trying to communicate.
Enter: The 3-Sentence Script
If you want to hold people accountable without turning into a micromanaging overlord—or a passive-aggressive people-pleaser—this 3-sentence format can help.
You don’t need to be perfect. You just need to be clear.
Sentence #1: “Help me understand…”
This opens the door with curiosity without giving away the farm.
“Help me understand what happened with the schedule change last week.”
“Help me understand why I haven’t seen the incident report from two days ago.”
Why it works:
You’re signaling that you’re open to hearing their side—but you’re also shining a spotlight on the issue. No dancing around it. No five-paragraph warm-ups.
⚠️ Important: pause after this question and listen.
Really listen. Not just to their words, but for patterns. Accountability. Insight. Or deflection.
Sentence #2: “I need you to ________, by _______, or we’ll need to ________.”
This is where clarity gets real.
“I need you to complete your daily notes before you leave your shift, or we’ll need to start a corrective action plan.”
“I need you to meet monthly with your direct reports in a 1:1 supervision starting immediately, or the leadership team will need to reassess if your current role is the right fit for you.”
Why it works:
You’re giving a clear, observable behavior. A timeline. And a consequence that’s real, not vague. You’re not threatening—they’re just being given a fork in the road.
Sentence #3: “How can I help you achieve that?”
This brings the focus back to solutions. And it sets the tone that you’re a coach, not just a judge.
“How can I help you keep better track of your deadlines?”
“How can I support you in improving your tone with coworkers?”
Why it works:
It facilitates buy-in. You’re still holding the line, but you’re giving them an on-ramp instead of just a warning sign.
⚠️ Again—pause and listen here, too.
Their answer will tell you whether they’re ready to grow… or just trying to survive the moment.
Case Study:
Let’s say you’ve got a supervisor named Silvia. She’s been with your agency for years. She’s beloved by clients. She’s also been skipping monthly supervision check-ins, making excuses, and sending emails that sound like she’s been binge-watching courtroom dramas.
You could spend six more months hoping she “snaps out of it.”
Or you could say:
“Help me understand what’s making it hard for you to attend our scheduled supervisions.”
“I need you to attend and actively participate in each monthly supervision moving forward, or we’ll need to start a corrective action plan.”
“How can I help you make that happen consistently?”
BOOM.
You’re not yelling. You’re not shaming. You’re leading.
What This Doesn’t Mean
This script doesn’t guarantee transformation. And you might still feel all the strong feelings going into these kinds of conversations. But it gives you solid ground to stand on. And it gives them a clear choice moving forward.
Next Steps
Write down the actual behavior that needs to change (not the attitude—focus on what you can see and measure).
Use the 3-sentence script the next time you need to redirect someone. Practice it. Say it out loud in the mirror if needed.
Debrief with someone who can cheer you on (and remind you not to spiral afterward).
Want Help with This?
Grab the Turnover Fix Playbook—it includes 4 simple supervisor habits (plus a self-check tool) that will help you tackle issues like this before they cost you great team members.
👉 Download the Playbook here.
